And now, for something completely different...
(One line a day, every day, until President Trump is re-elected).
"Good evening, and welcome to NightLine... I'm not Ted Koppel: We begin this Friday night countdown night with Stone Dumb Criminal Joe making a stealth move out onto the campaign trail today and looking like the B-1 Gangster that he is, complete with aviator sunglasses he kept on during his entire speech, and if only he'd have kept his mask on, and really completed his gangster look, but of course Joe thinks he's lookin' all military cool, and without even an (unseen) blink of an eye claimed he had just been endorsed by fourteen generals, including the famous General Stanley McChrystal, who when informed he had just endorsed Joe, replied, 'Bite me? I wouldn't endorse that guy to eat the peanuts out of my shit.'"
(Please continue to tune in, every night at 11:00... ish).