Dear Friends: Global warming, aka climate change, aka the progressive attack on capitalism, aka that complete hoax on every level, is also known as bull-bleep. I'll keep this short: global warming/cooling is a natural fluctuation that's occurred on Earth for eons (a short word for a gargantuan 4,000,000,000 plus billion year huge length of time) and will continue for eons more, until that final global warming when the sun explodes/implodes/goes all dwarf-y on us before going all black hole on us, and that's that. (That is, if we're still here on Earth. By then, we may all be extinct due to natural causes, extinct due to Artificial Intelligence, or we've all moved to a different galaxy. And left all the progressives behind.) And, given the benefit of the foresight to have pre-emptive hindsight, if we're no longer here, it's because progressives set the world on fire, literally, metaphorically, and metaphysically.
Literally: let's start with that Bastard Al-Assad, who's a bastard and an ass all rolled up into one of history's ugliest pieces of inhumanity. There's evil in the world, we all know this, but it's an evil evil that would chemically bomb innocent children. (Are we all aware that radical Islamic terrorists target children because it leaves a deeper scar in the rest of us? Google it, because Google et.al. and the entire internet-sewer-complex is complicit. Thanks Google et.al., for not being evil, and yet allowing evil to spread so virally. And if Google et.al. has a problem with that claim, Google et.al. can sue me. The proof is there; you can Google it. And are we all starting to see the eternal circle of hell the internet really is? Memo to us all: there's no escape from the internet. It's here to stay. And if you think you can simply avoid it, think again. The internet doesn't allow for thought. But, and of course, I digress. The internet will do that to you.) And that Bastard Al-Assad should never escape capture, nor the public humiliation of a tribunal at The Hague, nor the public humilitation of a brief stay at Gitmo before the public humiliation of a public execution, preferably by submerging him up to his chicken-neck in a vat of Sarin gas. That's cruel and unusual punishment, no doubt there, but that bastard deserves no mercy. Bleep him. And his chicken-neck. (And we here place the blame for that Bastard Al-Assad on progressives, because if the road to hell is paved with good intentions, in theory, in reality the road to hell is paved by the bad faith of progressives, and their fearful leader, code-name Barrack Hosein Obama. He spawned Al-Assad, ISIS, a soon to be nuclear Iran, and a soon to be capable of striking mainland USA nuclear North Korea, and he did it all by pretending Vladimir Putin was a relic of the eighties, and that's just off the top of the list.) And as such, let's end this with that fat guy in North Korea, who's as looney as a hydrogen-blimp-in-hindsight, with all the red flags in place to prove it, and yes, if we wait long enough, he'll simply balloon until he bursts into a fireball of his own spontaneous gaseous combustions (a phenomena also know, in this country, as Obamacare), but in order to prevent him from first-nuking us in the short-term, literally, let's nuke him metaphorically. (We can send that fat cow some magic beans, which he'll undoubtedly eat, and -- Boom. Problem solved.)
Metaphorically: our government, and by extension our entire country, is a ticking time-bomb ticking toward a modern-day "civil" war, and if you doubt that, look no farther than the Senate of the United States of America, that great deliberative body, who's leadership, through very un-deliberate deliberation, invoked the "nuclear option" to counter the bleeping Democrats (aka progressives, now, as all Democrats are are now acting like progressives) and all their filibustering (aka full-of-blustering, amongst being full of other things) of Judge Neil Gorsuch as if he were satan himself. (Memo to Democrats: Judge Neil Gorsuch isn't satan. Satan is a Democrat, who tried to progressively usurp God. Just ask Dana Carvey. And memo to Senator E. (Alfred) Warren: you need help. Seek it.) In fact, Judge Neil Gorsuch appears almost saintly as far as judges go these days: he's rational, reasonable, and conservative, and conservative in a rational and reasonable way, which is the very definition of conservatism. And yet, Democrats are acting like he's satan. And even more looney-progressive than that, Democrats are acting like Susan Rice is some sorta saint. Now, what we have there is the makings of the biggest political scandal since a bunch of buffoons burglarized George McGovern, which was like if the New England Patriots stole plays for an upcoming game against the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, and Susan Rice is dead-center of it all. But of course we all know she's the cover for code-name Barrack Hosein Obama, and since she's a black woman, she'll get a pass. But not from us. Susan Rice is guilty as sin for spying on political opponents for code-name Barrack Hosein Obama, for the political gain of code-name Barrack Hosein Obama, and herself, and in typically incompetent fashion, they botched the job. And we can all thank God for that, in the metaphysical sense, because God has a sense of humor, in the metaphysical sense.
Metaphysically: the only question in life worth asking and answering is the simplest: Why? (If you're thoughtful, you may answer: Why what? If you're humorous, you may answer: Why not? And if you're a smartass progressive, you answer: Because.) Of course, it's a deceptively simple question, since it's such a loaded question, as illustrated by the requisite responses above. But let's keep it simple here: Why are progressives so dead-set on destroying our country and the world at large? And good luck getting an honest answer out of progressives on that one, since progressives all think they're saving the world. (Memo to progressives: you're not saving the world, as you're the problem, not the solution; please resume growing tofu out of your own composted bull-bleep, and leave the world-saving to those with a clue, a heart, and a soul.) Because everything that guides the progressive-playbook is based on bad faith, or worse, no faith. Did progressives ever get the memo that their fearful leader, code-name Barrack Hosein Obama, wanted to damn America, with the help of his unrepentant domestic-terrorist friends, and by somehow managing to also get the help of radical Islamic terrorists through his sheer incompetence commingled with his sheer bad faith, and people like Susan Rice? (If not, Google it; you progressives are competent at that.) But the good faith of the American people will always persevere, as we always have when faced with any form of evil in the world, because in the fight between good and evil, the good always wins. Every time. And timing is everything. And yes, we all hope and pray for an after-life when our time on Earth is up, and hope and prayer are true weapons against the evil of anarchy and chaos, but only when hope and prayer are paired with the impenetrable shield of love can we achieve this Heaven on Earth, which we all know as the good old U. S. of A. (And if we ever let progressives lead us again, we'll all have to move to a different galaxy.) But we won't let that happen, because we all hope for, pray for, and have absolute love for the good old U. S. of A. And while symbolic weapons are essential to the fight, any fight, a boat load or two of Tomahawk missiles also works. Because God demands we fight for all of His children with any means available, and that our leaders understand this principle and apply it prudently. And with that in our hearts and minds, God bless the United States of America, God bless the entire world, and God bless our fearless leader, President Donald J. Trump.