Dear Friends: If California, that country within our country, is the land of the double-standard (or, as Californians would say, the moral-high-ground land of the double-standard), then Silicon Valley is the land of the double-standard within the double-standard. And you probably need a double-algorithm to decipher that sentence. But I'm sure you can Google it (said algorithm), and, whether you like it or not, be prepared for Google to Google you back.
But let's leave the whole 'our privacy is bleeped' thing for another time, and stick to the economy, stupid. (Stupid being said Californians.) Here are the numbers, as reported in the news, so definitely don't quote me on them:
- Tech job in the USA: $80,000/year
- Tech job for an immigrant with an HB1 Visa, but obviously not educated in the USA: $35,000/year
- Tech job for Chelsea Clinton: $650,000/ year (minimum)
Now, as we all know, most tech jobs are in Silicon Valley, but apparently, all tech jobs in Silicon Valley now require an HB1 Visa. And as such, is there any difference between Silicon Valley and Napa Valley, when it comes to importing immigrants to do the work at a whopping cost-cutting ratio of 8:3.5/ year, since last time we checked, nobody here wanted to pick the grapes anyway? Everybody here just wants to drink the product. (Oooh, the product. Sounds so nefarious, except when it comes to wine. Seriously, why doesn't anybody ever smuggle fine wine? Or steal fine wine? Or counterfeit fine wine? Because it's just so much easier to buy it.) Anyway, I'm no economic, immigration, or employment genius. But at that kinda pay, at least the grape-pickers get an outdoor job in the California sun, with their very own Porta-John. And all the grapes they can eat. (Thus, their very own Porta-John.)
(Capitalist side-note: In the history of awesome ideas in routine hygiene, other than indoor plumbing, and toilet paper, is there any one thing that sticks out more then the dude who said, and I (liberally) quote, "Why can't we just have a portable pisser?" That dude was a total genius, but credited in a way-under-credited way, even if his name may have been John. So come on, man. Let's all recognize the dude as a total genius, in the field of (now) routinely portable hygiene. Heck, he may as well have invented the portable light bulb, except he probably wasn't a science geek. (Science geeks never leave the lab, so they'd never invent a portable pisser.) And I'm pretty sure we'd all rather have the portable pisser. (And of course, science geeks probably wouldn't invent a portable lightbulb, either. Or a portable anything, since they're all so lab-bound.) And I don't even digress here. We need our science geeks. And that Porta-John dude was a total genius.)
(Cinematic side-note: "Cast Away." That dude totally uses a Porta-John to escape the island. And to escape Wilson. (We never bought the crying, Tom Hanks. We know you loved Wilson, but only sometimes. But, huge job escaping that island via Porta-John.))
(Non-cinematic side-note: Would a progressive, let's say a PETA people, simply be appalled if forced to use a plastic anything to escape an island? And would said progressive ask, "Hmm. Wonder why they left me here, and haven't come back yet? It's been minutes already.")
But enough about the progressives. Those looneys have no idea when it comes to the economy. And it's not because they're stupid, which they are. And it's not because they're looney, which they also are. It's because they're lazy. (Musical side-note: Lana Del Rey, a total, total babe, sings in her new album, "Lust for Life," about going back to the office or the coffee shop, which for many progressives, is the same thing. And in a previous album, she sang about always wanting to "get high by the beach," or if you're a progressive, in a coffee shop by the beach. You get the picture. (Not an actual music review. A fake music review. (Not the music. The review.) Lana Del Rey is as totally talented as she is a total babe, even if she can't lip-synch, live, for bleep.) But enough about Lana Del Rey. Nobody wants to get high by the beach, or keep being young, or in love, if they're a progressive. Because progressives probably hate Lana Del Rey for her beauty. And her talent. And, her beauty. And I quote an unreliable progressive source here, "And somehow, that bleep can write songs and sing em. Except live.")
(Awesome news side-note: Was watching a fair and balanced news channel, the Tucker Carlson Tonight (TCT ) show, and Tucker interviewed a progressive defending Chelsea Clinton's Variety Lifetime Achievment Award. According to Variety, and their guy, well, it isn't quite a "lifetime achievement award." It's more of an achievment award that happens to be sponsored by Lifetime (the TV channel). And it won't be an awards dinner. It'll just be lunch. And we'll skip the analysis on how in her very short career Chelsea's managed to be a "journalist," a documentary film maker, a talk show host, and now, an Ivy League professor, but you get the picture.)
And anyway, back to Porta-Johns. And in the spirit of always fair and balanced satire, all of the time -- except, there's little satire about this subject: plastic sucks. You simply can't get rid of it. And there's no tree hugging going on here, but when you here about a 50 mile long "floating island" of discarded plastic in the Pacific, probably discarded by Californians (the whole double-standard thing) you simply have to question the wisdom of plastic. (With all due respect to plastic surgeons. We all love what you do.)
Another argument for another day. But until then, can we get rid of all the progressives? As in, can we send them all to an island in the Pacific, near the South Pole, said island being better known as Antarctica, so they can keep track of all the icebergs for us? And the floating plastic? We'll provide the wine, the tofu, and the Porta-Johns.